Murpylou’s Blog

maybe it’s the lady, maybe its the change of location, maybe its missing my friends, but i have been very musically inspired lately. i’m loving it.

as i write this i am stalling. i am putting off for as long as i can the simple act of writing a check and attaching it to a little note. the time has come for me to put in my 30 days notice on my apartment. 30 days from now i will be in denton. during august i will drive back and forth frequently. after august i’m hoping i get to come in weekly. this sucks. but it’s needed

So there was this woman and
she was, uh, on an airplane and
she’s flying to meet her fiancé
sailing high above the–the largest ocean
on planet earth and she was seated
next to this man who, you know
she had tried to start conversations
an really–really the only thing
she heard him say was to order his bloody mary
and she’s sitting there and she’s reading
this really arduous magazine article about a
third world country that she couldn’t
even pronounce the–the name of and
she’s feeling very bored and very despondent
and–and then, uh, suddenly there’s this huge mechanical failure and one of the–the engines gave out
and they started just falling -an- thirty thousand feet
and the pilot’s on the microphone and he’s saying,
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Oh My God, I’m Sorry”
and apologizing and she looks at the man and she–and she says,
“Where are we going?” and he looks at her and he says,
“We’re going to a party, it–it’s a birthday party.
It’s your birthday party, happy birthday darling.
We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much.”
And then, uh, he starts humming this little tune and–and, uh, it kind of goes like this, it’s kinda:

One, Two, One, Two, Three, Four
We must talk in every telephone, get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues from the books we have read
And to the face of every criminal strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare, we must stare, we must stare.

We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist that sleeps but doesn’t dream
We must sing, we must sing, we must sing.

And it’ll go like this, alright
While my mother waters plants my father loads his gun.
He says, “Death will give us back to God,
just like the setting sun
is returned to the lonesome ocean.”

And then they splashed into the deep blue sea.
(Oh,)It was a wonderful splash.

We must blend into the choir, sing as static with the whole,
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul,
And to this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run.

We must hang up in the belfry where the bats in moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And (in)to the caverns of tomorrow with just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge.

And then we’ll get down there,
way down to the very bottom of everything
and then we’ll see it, oh we’ll see it, we’ll see it, we’ll see it.

Oh my morning’s coming back
The whole world’s waking up
Oh the city bus is swimming past.
I’m happy just because
I found out I am really no one.

Happy june everyone. you know what this changing of the month means? moustache may is done. bummer. it weird how involved we all (the staches that is) get in this. it would be just as great for me if we all just hung out all the time but due to distance and such we seem to need a reason to friends. and so we grow moustaches and beards together. it’s an instant commonality between all of us. as weird as it is we somehow truly befriend each other. i remember when alijoon got married! they have prayed for me at times and i have prayed for them. they have prayed for some of you who read this also. it’s such a positive thing to be a part of.
so now i am clean shaven (which doesn’t work very well with me). i can’t decide it i’m growing my beard back or yet. we will see i suppose.

Operation Bible Abandonment has been restarted as of today. If you don’t know what that is then ask and maybe i’ll tell you. If you do know what that is you might as well join in.

It’s the smell of hot summertime trash
It’s the city noise of a busy street
It’s a train derailed and a two car head on freeway crash
Each time we meet

“And if it comes as some sort of a surprise”, she said
“That I seem so composed,
I’ve kept this moment closer to my eyes”, she said,
“Than the glasses resting on the edge of my nose”

Shadow am I!
Shadow am I!
The question of a person, no said reply
Wolf am I!
and Shadow cast on the sheep as I pass by
Shadow am I!
Shadow am I!
or like a
wearing-black-socks-and-white-woolen-locks
Wolf am I, and shadow

she was grace and green as a stem,
but I walk heavy on delicate ground

…as I go showing off again
Self-impressed by how well I can put myself down!
And there I go again
To the next further removed level
Of that same exact feigned humility!

this for me goes on and on to the point of nausea

Shadow am I!
Like suspicion that’s never confirmed
But it’s never denied
Wolf am I,

no, “shadow” – I think – is better
as I’m not something as the absence of something

So SHADOW AM I!
the material world seems to me like a newspaper headline-
it explicitly demands your attention
and it may even contain some truth
and what’s really going on here?

one day the water’s gonna wash it away
and on that day, nothing clever to say.

odd day. not sure how i feel about it yet

began yesterday. i intended on post this photo but didn’t get the chance:

The theme was back to camp.

not in a bad way. just a lot of information that you may or not know.

so recently i have felt very tolerated, and only tolerated by the people i call my friends. and i say i call them friends not because i don’t consider them friends. i just for the last few months havn’t felt like the feeling was returned at all. i didn’t feel wanted (hence i have felt tolerated). needless to say it is frustrating.

Fast forward to last wednesday

So a lot of this feeling also applies to wed night band stuff. i’ve felt like i am allowed to be there because:

a) i’ve been there so long
b) they want a lead player and don’t want to either overload clint with a duel rhythm/lead thing or they don’t want to find someone else to replace me

anyways, back to last wednesday. at the band meeting to be specific. clint said two thing that really caught my attention. first of all he said out of nowhere something about how he struggles with thinking people don’t like him when really there is nothing to worry about cause he’s such a fine fellow and quite a snappy dresser. this got my attention for two reasons:

a) i’ve know clint for a while (as he also pointed out in the meeting) and i did not know this about him.
b) i do the exact same thing and thought i was the only one, at least in the group i hang around with.

The second thing that really got my attention was that clint said how we should be a family. i have been praying for that for like 6 months. i havn’t felt like we were a family at all. which at least band wise started out my fault. i’m the first to admit that this whole family thing was the last thing i was worried about when i took over worship last fall. sure i thought it was important to me. but i was stressed. stressed bad. i felt as if i was being judged on how much the quality of worship dropped when lance and sam (this was imaginary. rebe, jd, and jc if you happen to read this, yall are doing incredible and i can’t even begin to express how proud i am of yall) left. when people are stressed they don’t treat those around them as family, they treat them as coworkers.

i realized my horrible mistake about a week and a half before i was told i couldn’t lead worship anymore. ever since then i have been praying redundantly for G-d to bring us back together as a family. i want my brothers and sisters back so bad. more than anything. that doesn’t just mean band people, i miss my christian brothers and sisters. i want you to know that if you know me well enough to be reading this, i would do anything for you and i love you.

now for less lengthy stuff:

clint i love you bud and i can only sense that you are having a hard time with something right now……i want my accountabilibuddy back. we’ve been slacking.

chris i know you needed to go see your mom, but get your butt back here.

i love these lyrics:

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I’m learning to breathe
I’m learning to crawl
I’m finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I’m living again, awake and alive
I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I’m learning to breathe
I’m learning to crawl
I’m finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I’m living again, awake and alive
I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I’m Yours
This is the way
This is the way

mustache may starts in 11 days

never ever thought i would be writing a 5 page paper on why Epicurus would oppose legalizing pot. and the title of said paper…………(The Ballad of)Epicurus and Mary Jane. time to get back to writing. i love you all and i mean it.